I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
