So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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