"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
