i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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