Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
