We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
40s are totally the cure
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
