And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize