Do you still have your period?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
