Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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