Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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