walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
