Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
