I hate all girls vehemently.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Dick very happy bro
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
