I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We got so high we made milksteak
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
