So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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