All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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