Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
