Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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