sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
