i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
