I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
