btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize