are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
