Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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