We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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