I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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