I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize