exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
