Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
