So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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