She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
