She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
