Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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