I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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