Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
