Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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