i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
