i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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