I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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