do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
