lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
