Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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