I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
