Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
