It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
