Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
