Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
