if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
