That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you inspire me to be a worse person
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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