I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
