I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Dignity is for republicans.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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