Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
