Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
