Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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