I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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