I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize