this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
