I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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