"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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