I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
They have beer where we have blood.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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