I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
