When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
