I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
